Stu's take on…

As reported on this fine site on Friday, yesterday was my brother’s birthday. Which in turn meant that as a birthday present we were kind enough to present him with a rather impressive hangover.

As I expected, it went badly (from my liver’s perspective anyway) from pretty much the second I arrived at the bar – I was barely through the door when he was berating the poor unsuspecting bartender for not IMMEDIATELY having presented me with a frankly dangerous number of shooters comprising (or so it tasted anyway):

• A generous dose of rocket fuel
• 3 drops of unbridled pain
• topped off with liquid fire.

The rest is a bit of a blur: quite a few hours of trips to the bar, bawdy shouting at everyone I’ve ever met to “Have another tequila! My round!”, a few trips to the ATM to fund said rounds (always a FAIL idea), neatly rounded off with perhaps a tequila or two. Or three. Or four. Repeat.

This carried on for far too long before Her Royal Fianceeness decided the novelty of me spending our life savings on Olmeca was gone, and promptly frog-marched me off home. Well, I didn’t so much march as stumble from wall to lamppost to kerb to wall. And one particularly complicated flight of two stairs.

Little boet failing dismally at a "vuvuzela funnel"

Little brother on the other hand was in top form – we took bets on how long before he’d pass out (my money was on 11pm), and yet he somehow managed to outlast all of us. And it needs to be mentioned: he arrived home with a very impressive black-eye and no recollection of how exactly that came to be.

Rumour has it that contrary to my gleeful proclomations of “That’s what up punk! That’s what happens when you tune me kak, Boet.” it was apparently the result of him managing to fall off the bar (let’s not get into why he happened to be ON the bar in the first place) and sacrifice an eye for the greater good – NOT smashing the bottles of tequila he was carrying at the time. Good effort! Proper form! Protect the tequila at all costs and all that.

The tequila - it is safe.

So all in all a rather successful evening had by all. And to all of those who attended: Till we meet again! Only this time let’s ease up on the shooters, mmmkay?

I’m pretty much going to leave it at that – we’re not even going to go into Sunday, other than to state: Ouch.

And of course: Sshhhh.

Looks like you won’t be hearing much out of me this weekend. Sunday is my brother’s birthday, which means that Saturday evening may or may not (I’m gonna go with ‘may’) be rather hectic if Mr J. Daniels, Mr J. Cuervo and Mr C. Glass have anything to say about it.

And they all tend to have far too much to say as far as I’m concerned. Although it probably wouldn’t kill me to not provide such an attentive audience.

The manager of the bar we’re going to has already sent out an open invitation to every single one of the members of the establishment’s Facebook group inviting them to mercilessly punish the guy…

Which leaves Sunday.

Sundays are in turn devoted to whining about “the worst hangover ever” and “I swear I’m never drinking again”, etc. followed by much quaffing of Rehidrat, Aspirin and one or more greasy fry-ups.

So to cut a long story short – let’s check back in on Monday. Bright and early now, ya hear?

So where is someone supposed to go party in Pretoria?

Pretoria seems to have a severe lack of awesome nightclubs. We all know the regular waterholes in Menlyn Piazza and Hatfield and one or two clubs scattered around, but surely there are some other shit-hot clubs and cocktail lounges somewhere in the city that I am unaware of.

And I’ve been very lax in my partying lately, so it’s not too hard to believe that there are loads I’ve never heard of. At least I hope there are.

Lemme know if you are aware of them. And if you work for any, or own one, or just spend far too much time there, send me some info on it (stu@stustake.com). I’ll be putting together a list with pics, info and contacts in the not-too-distant future.

And I may even be forced to go and personally road-test each and every one. Watch this space.

Awesome.

And allow me to preempt Jeremy here: Yes, I know you’re going to write a comment along the lines of: “Go to Joburg.”

No.