Well that didn’t quite go according to plan. Was convinced I was going to win 58 million Euros (can’t find the Euros symbol on this stoopid-ass keyboard) in last week’s EuroMillions Lottery draw. Apparently the lottery thought otherwise.
I mean come on! The chances are something like 1 in 72 million. Could it be any easier? There are approximately 6 billion people on Earth. Assuming half are men, that means each guy has a one in 3 billion chance of dating Megan Fox (her recent bisexual comments notwithstanding, as that’ll make my calculations way too hectic for my simple brain). Yet she has a boyfriend (or a husband, or a shag, who knows – I don’t pay that much attention to gossip rags). So some really lucky fella wins THAT lottery.
My chances of winning the EuroMillions Lottery are therefore approximately 40 times better than my chances of schtupping Megan. See where I’m going with this?
I figured those odds are not too hectic at all. Apparently I was mistaken. Didn’t even match ONE number. I didn’t realise it was possible to be completely crap at random gambling. Who’d have thought? New levels of uselessness have been achieved. Rich FAIL.
Guess I’d better cancel the Aston Martin on order then…
If you reckon you’ve got a shot at the cash, then click here to buy your tickets, as I’ve just made such an awesome pitch and you’re totally convinced you need to enter NOW. Or not.
