The Spammer "Tool of the Day Award" goes to...

Once again I’m on about email spam, as it is just neverending. As previously mentioned, you really need to read some of this crap to wonder just how some folks regularly fall for this stuff.

The latest trend is now dozens of spammers informing me that every second person keeps dropping dead and every last one of them was determined that I should receive their life savings.

Here’s a perfect example below. You’d really think these clowns could go to the trouble of getting a legit looking email address to make it only “slightly dodgy”, as opposed to the usual “extremely dodgy” rating I take the honour of issuing them. A dash of spell-checker wouldn’t go amiss either… (seriously hoping I haven’t misspelled anything in this post, which would completely negate my smart-arsed judgemental bitching session…)

Received this pearler today:

Greetings:
On behalf of Van de Diplomatic Courier Company we inform you about the Deposited Consignment with National Security Vault South Africa: through our delegates in South Africa. The consignment was deposited by Mr. Robert Usman, to deliver to you since 4th March 2008 until now we did not here from you. We have tried all we could to locate him only to find out that he is late. In this regards went down to South Africa last week and manage to inspects the consignment only to see that; the said consignment contains US$4, 500 000.00 (Four Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only), Complimentary Cards and Some Vital Company’s Documents. See the below for the photos of the consignment/contents.

Alternative are to contacts you for the claim of the said Consignments under the Agreement that you and I will share the fund 50/50. He only left to us your email address to contacts you therefore I want you to quickly response to me with your information for the delivery:

1. Your full name……………………………
2. Gender ………………………………………
3. Date of Birth ………………………………
4. Delivery address…………………………
5. Country ………………………………………
6. Cell phone …………………………………

As soon as you forward the delivering information, I will send it to our Diplomat/Representative in South Africa to arrange for meeting you for immediate delivery in your country. After the transaction, I might be able to meets you in person. Mr. Robert Usman, have paid for the security – keeping of the consignment left alone delivering charges. I will update you with proof/documents needed for the claim the consignment as soon as you report to us. Note that our delegates in South Africa will deliver the consignment to you once my instruction is issued. Therefore I need to bargain in one agreement with you to handle this transaction; response to my private email vandediplomaticcoriercom@hotmail.com, I am looking forward to hear from you.
Regards
Regards

I am looking forward to hear from you.

Check the PDF File to Read the Full Letter (Yeah right, Buddy…)

For Enquiry Please Call: +44 7509 247 765
(Dr. Geoffrey Walmsely)
(VAN DE DIPLOMATICS)
LONDON, UNITED – KINGDOM

Sure, I’ll happily email you all my details immediately. Are you sure you don’t want my credit card number too? How about I DHL you my ATM card and then immediately SMS you my PIN number?

Tools, the lot of them! Minus 20 points.