Santa gets cranky on Twitter…

Just discovered a really amusing, seriously cranky, drunken Santa Claus on Twitter. Check out some of his not-so-in-the-spirit-of-Christmas musings / status updates:

“Tweet” me your wishlist kids! Santa’s ready to block and report your dreams as spam.

Santa’s snorting a line of eggnog off an elf chick’s ass. Trust me. We get different eggnog here.

Santa’s busy! These Barbies aren’t going to creepily fondle themselves.

I like how everyone thinks Rudolph did shit. Fact. Rudolph is an oh-look-at-me-I-have-a-red-nose diva fuck.

Yes! Because what we need is another parade where I’m exploited for no royalties while I freeze my dick off in the North Pole.

Santa Claus is coming to town! Except Baltimore. Christmas is cancelled in Baltimore. Also? Fuck Baltimore.

Elves are annoying as fuck. Let’s outsource your job to Bangalore and see how much you yap then, you dicks.

I’m making a list and checking it twice. Ha! Fuck that. Drinking and playing it by ear.

Brilliance! Go check him out on Twitter.