Winter is kak.
If I wanted to freeze random spherical extremities off on a daily basis I would move to Iceland somewhere really cold that does not have cranky volcanoes spewing ash every 4,5 seconds and bringing Europe to a panicky standstill.
This is Africa. When you think of Africa you expect hot days, clear sunny skies and lions gnawing on your Achilles tendon as you make your way down the street to buy supplies for a day on safari.
This is a fallacy – the last few days have been kak cold, the skies have been overcast and I personally haven’t seen a lion roaming the streets for approximately forever (give or take a few days).
The problem is that we here in South Africa still believe that all of Africa is supposed to be hot and sunny all of the time, so our houses are built in a way that offers no protection whatsoever from the winter cold – no fireplace, no double-glazing (all the better to hear the thieves stealing your car radio) and no central heating.
Yesterday, sitting in my lounge wrapped in more warm gear than most K2 expedition climbers have ever owned, I had a glance at some New Years Eve party photos posted on Facebook by friends of mine living in Canada, and guess what: they were all running around in shorts and t-shirts. At night. In Canada. In the middle of winter.
Now Canada is NOT a place that’s scared of getting brass-monkeys cold, but the difference is that Canadians have accepted the fact that they live on what is basically an overpaid glacier. Therefore their houses are warm. They all own ski-jackets. They have central heating.
Whereas I in turn am currently sitting in my office in Johannesburg wrapped up in enough warm padding to wrap an aircraft carrier, battling to type this with nearly frostbitten fingers – unless my boss is reading this, in which case I wrote this post at home on Sunday evening and am currently working very very hard on my tasks for the day 
Stoopid winter. If anyone needs me I’ll be in Canada, running around in shorts and asking someone if they could please switch the AC on as it’s getting a warm in here.
