To all those who thought South Africa wouldn’t be ready for the World Cup…

So we’re a mere six days from kick off (see what I did there?) of the eagerly-awaited 2010 FIFA World Cup. It has been a looong road getting to this point, with the country trying its darndest to get every aspect required by FIFA (and just what the Hell is FIFA’s problem anyway?) ready in time, whilst all the while having to deal with all the naysayers and their constant whining… i.e.

• “Ooohhh it’s going to be a disaster. The country can’t pull this off”;
• ”Everybody even considering coming to South Africa for the tournament is going to be instantly murdered in their beds by roaming machete gangs” (we have the ever-creative British tabloid press to thank for this pearler);
• “There’s no way FIFA won’t come to their senses and move the tournament to some other 1st world country”; and of course…
• “The power/water/infrastructure/hotels/roads/hippies won’t be able to cope”.

To all of them, allow me to express my heartfelt reply:

That’s what’s up. We’re ready. The stadiums are finished, the International Broadcast Centre is ready (so you can watch from your igloo in Outer Whereverthef@ck), the Gautrain has its permit and opens on Tuesday, the teams have started arriving and all the cool matches are sold out. Hell, there’s even a big-ass ferris wheel at the V&A Waterfront – just because we can.

So f@ck you and your whiny expat moaning. Go take your frostbitten ass outside and shovel some of that nice safe Canadian snow clogging your driveway; and to the other half: throw another shrimp on the barbie. Mate.

This whole place is gonna be the mother of all parties for the next month with some top class sport happening in some top class stadiums.

Note: Of course I was a sleg moer and never got my shit together in time – I don’t have tickets to any of the matches I wanted to attend. Boohoo for me – I took too long. Unrucky. But hey, I got a nice new PVR, and the Fan Fests are pretty close, so I’m sorted.

Where my World Cup at?

Ayoba.