When your blog disappears…

So there I was, quietly minding my own business, about to type up my latest post on this, SA’s finest blog. Alas, all of a sudden I noticed that my blog did not contain one single post. Okay, in the interests of clarity, I did not exclaim anything remotely like the effeminate “Alas” upon noticing the complete destruction of all my work… nay, it was more a case of a rather high-pitched and panicky “AG P*ES!”

536 posts… gone. One and a half years worth of wisecracking… gone. Needless to say I was rather displeased. And by displeased I mean… ummm… not happy? See the snappy catchphrase in the first paragraph.

“Well, that’s that then I suppose.” Coz there was no way in Hell that I was starting out again, from scratch. “Well, blogging was fun. What’s next?”

Sending out a panicky couple of tweets confirmed what I had feared – it was not a local connection problem or anything like that (Hey, don’t judge: I’m not an IT geek. Besides, I was grasping at straws). A reader from London (Hi PJ!) replied that the site was indeed gone. Kaput. Finito. In sy moer in.

Fokit. That’s the best part about the whole internet-thing: if you f@ck something up in the middle of your tiny little nowhere country, you can rest assured that it is f@cked beyond the same level of recognition the entire world over. ”The world on your doorstep. Broken. By you. FAIL.”

Just as I was about to pack it all in, trade the laptop for a bus ticket to Keetmanshoop and become a hermit, I figured I’d try one last time to Google a solution – a solution that did not involve me learning how to reprogramme the space shuttle in 45 minutes flat. Wouldn’t you know it: it turns out this is quite a common blog problem…

If you find that one day your WordPress blog contains no trace of you ever having written a single word, then (i) thank A. Fatih Syuhud, and then (ii) try the following (after your turn screeching “AG P*ES!”):

1. Login to your CPanel, which is located at yoursite.com/cpanel
2. Go to MySQL Databases
3. Select WordPress Database
4. Click Repair. Done.

Yes? Happiness?

Right, if anyone needs me I’m off to do a proper backup of this site. Because every image of Jessica Alba needs to be protected and safeguarded for all eternity. And because we only ever backup after we’ve had a problem, not so?