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Make a plan – get on a plane to Australia NOW. Trust me on this… But if you prefer not to trust me implicitly (because let’s be honest, I’m a bit dodgy) here’s why – in the form of the company’s official advert: Shame, they look so… so… lonely. Besides, that’ll beat the crap out of a day at the Pretoria Zoo. Go check out their website for more info here, you little perve. Date night WIN or FAIL? You decide… Your missus wants to go to a movie, so you kindly offer to take her to some chick flick-looking drama about a talented ballerina. She’s happy, you’re happy, birds are chirping, all is well with the world etc. The fact that you offered to take her to a ballet movie seems lost on her. But alas, this ain’t no “Center Stage” or “Step Up” or “Honey” or ummm… okay, I’m kinda out of dance movies here. Oh, or “Billy Elliot” -- that’s another one. Yeah, it’s not like that one either. It turns out that Black Swan is more of a psychological thriller than a happy dance flick. Directed by Darren Aronofsky of ‘Requiem for a dream’ and ‘The Wrestler’ fame, this one looks kinda creepy… take a look:
Yeah, not so sure you’ll have any brownie points left after that movie. Unless you earn brownie points for going to crap-yourself scary thrillers -- in which case you’ve got bigger problems to worry about. And lads: if I lost you at ballerina and you moved off to other posts, well here’s something just for you: Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman locking lips in the movie. Coz I had to drag this post into the gutter, didn’t I? Yep.
You’re welcome. Have I got your attention now? One for the lads… Look past the sheer please-punch-me-ness that is Dan Balan himself, and at the wonder that is the feminine contribution to this video. And because I’m never afraid to explain the finer details of my awesomeness to the world at large (really? You noticed?) I thought I’d take this opportunity to show my private investigator-esque resourcefulness at establishing who these lasses are. Here then are the names of the dancers in this video (in case you want to, I don’t know, do a Google Images search or something like that. Whatever. Hey, I’m not judging.): The girl on the table is Ashley Schultz. Okay fine, so these names were listed in the YouTube comments on the video. Whatever. You didn’t think of checking there, now did you? Exactly. Enough rambling, Stu (P.I.) says “on with the music video!” Ja okay fine. Nothing wrong there. So ummm… yeah… it’s a Victoria’s Secret ad starring Miranda Kerr. And ummm… are you even reading this?
So in case you hadn’t noticed the World Cup is currently underway. And if you hadn’t noticed, you may wanna get those ears tested… vuvuzelas ringing any bells? In keeping with the spirit of all things soccer, I figured I’d go to all the trouble of posting a gallery of pics of the finer fans out there. Except of course, I didn’t… Other sites have done a far better job of it than I could/would/should, and clearly have a lot more time on their hands too. I therefore present… assorted galleries of the world’s (or some of the world’s – I’m sure there are one or two more out there) finest soccer fans. Ta-Daaaaaah! Galleries: Are you still here? Seriously? Sjoe. Proving yet again that Stu’s take on… covers virtually any topic out there, as spelled out in the About page, we’ve moved from a post about incorrectly identifying a palindrome to pictures of hotties in one fell swoop. How’s that for versatility?
It’s been a while since photos of a lass of suitable hotness have appeared on this site. Never fear, dear lecherous lads, I got your back. Seeing as South Africa is all about hosting the world during the 2010 FIFA World Cup over the next few weeks, and so many foreign sites have recently been posting articles with titles like “South Africa’s 10 Hottest Women” etc. I figured we should see what our esteemed visitors have to offer us in return. This will allow us to properly gauge the welcome we should extend to the visiting hordes of football fans landing in Joburg. Sufficiently fine ladyfolk = “Welcome to our fine country! Here’s a nice cold beer!” This time it’s coming to you from the country of Mexico, our first opponents in the World Cup. Say hello to their finest specimen (if you choose to ignore the lovely Salma Hayek. You wouldn’t though, would you?), Ninel Conde. According to Wikipedia…
Fascinating. Redelbe -- great movie. It was a movie, right? Or a song? How about a book? No wait, probably not a book, as they’re harping on about her performance. Man, I’m well-smart when I choose to be! Should probably choose to a bit more often though… Right, history lesson over, it’s time for a brief introduction. Class, say hello to Ninel. Ninel say hello to… all of mankind.
Glad nie te lelik nie, né? And just for good measure, I thought I’d throw in a few pictures too. You’re welcome. Click on the first image to enlarge it and start the gallery. If anyone needs me I’ll be in Mexico (after the World Cup that is). Apparently the tequila’s not too rubbish there either Update: 15 June Here’s the original post anyway, not that it counts for much anymore… sniff — So my life was made complete at last night’s MTV Movie Awards in Los Angeles. “How?” you ask. Well…
PLUS
EQUALS
Awesome… And because this is the 21st century we have video too…
Did I mention ‘awesome’? Not too sure who ‘Joe Hanson’ is though (if you ever managed to tear your eyes away and check the title of this clip. You did? FAIL.). Oh! You mean ‘Johansson’. Now I see. Sigh. Not that that is the point of this post though, now is it? Title? What title? Sssshhh! Hotties! As mentioned at the start of this post, my life is complete. I can die happy now. Awesome. In case you were wondering. —  Ellen Pompeo Can’t say I’ve ever considered Miss “let’s see just how much I can whine, mope and sulk in a single episode of the estrogen-fest commonly referred to as Grey’s Anatomy” Ellen Pompeo to be up there in the hottie stakes. Probably got a lot to do with the above-mentioned high-maintenanceness (that is a word, I swear. Well, it is now. I have spoken). However, according to Holy Taco, she is in fact “well fine”. Well, Monsieur dude-who-writes-Holy-Taco, I’LL be the judge of that. Or you can – check out their mini-gallery (6 pics) of Ellen looking none too shabby – HERE. — Sorry for you pal…
Ten points for Specsavers for completely ripping off Axe (aka ‘Lynx’ in some places.) Assuming of course you actually noticed anything other than the zillions of hotties doing the whole “Baywatch run” thing -- if not it would be rather understandable…
Okes… you owe me a kak-load of beer for bringing this to your attention: American Apparel, who apparently make clothes (fascinating… don’t care) have launched their “Best Bottom Contest“. They’re looking for the new ummm…. ‘face’ of their skimpy stuff, so all a lass has to do is post a photo of her fine posterior wearing the company’s undies. The rest of the world – you, me, every other guy on the planet, Ellen – then get to critically view the submissions, judge them on a sliding scale from Jessica Alba to the Michelin Man’s missus, and vote accordingly. Can you think of a better way to kill some office time than that? Bye bye. Click for awesomeness. ![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=6e6b2f00-0dd9-4f2b-8610-2586f8c3fd7c) |
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