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“So What?” button for Facebook…


Finally, my prayers have been answered. Okay, not really, but it turns out that I’m at least not alone in my quest for a Facebook button that ACTUALLY relates to what I think about 99% of the statuses I read:

So What Facebook button

Good, huh? Definitely needed ASAP, huh?

Make that ‘You and 83 others don’t give a …’


Source: Failbook.com 

Facebook Timeline cover photos – let’s see that creativity…


Those of you paying attention will have noticed that some folks have started using a new, fancier Facebook profile layout. This is Facebook Timeline, and in time will become the standard profile page of all users. More on that here.

One item not mentioned in the article linked to is the bit about cover photos, the main photo that sits at the top of your profile in addition to the profile photo we all know and stalk others by. I, like most new users, initially simply selected a random photo like anything else that would feature as a regular profile photo, without even considering the possibilities of these album covers of sorts.

Turns out some folks with either an artistic inclination, too much time on their hands or a combination thereof, have been tinkering about. Click to go check out a gallery of some of the better ones on Hongkiat.com.

Now while some look cool and others are placeholders for virtually-guaranteed-to-be-sponsored advertising space for the more famous among us, it all quite frankly looks like a lot of work. I did however take the time to place quite a few photos into a bigger photo of the relevant dimensions, and kinda like the result. Here then is my Facebook Timeline cover photo:

Stuart Facebook Timeline Cover Photo

Ta Daaaaaahhhh!!

Note the danger tape in the profile picture. Coz I’m dangerous bru. I know, lame. Moving swiftly along…

So anyway, for the Photoshoppers out there, the dimensions that seemed to work are 850 x 315 pixels. Plus, the Hongkiat.com article that I linked to in the text above even has a free downloadable Photoshop template for you to play around with to get your cover photo design just right. Go give it a bash.

Note: One kind of annoying thing I’ve noticed is that when you load up a profile that’s using Timeline it doesn’t seem to load up from the top of the image, but about a third of the way down. You can scroll up to see the whole thing, but it just looks a bit weird when I click on my profile and all the heads in the image have been lopped off (until I scroll up). I assume that’ll be sorted by Zuckerberg et al shortly. Mark: get on it, pal!

Facebook Timeline launched…


Facebook Timeline

Mark Zuckerberg describing Facebook Timeline

Right, time for everyone to start loudly protesting about Facebook’s latest change. And protest they will if the past is anything to go by (and it usually is).

Timeline, the new profile redesign from Facebook, has gone live.

A recent post on Digital Trends described it so:

Timeline is a complete revamp from the previous version of the Profile. Topped by a giant profile picture, your new Timeline page organizes your Wall into chronological order, making it possible to look back over your entire life on Facebook. All new posts appear front and center. As you go back through time, Facebook automatically shows the posts that received the most interaction. Users can then expand certain periods of time to see more posts.

As mentioned in the intro, users of Facebook tend to freak out en masse whenever a redesign occurs, so in an attempt to minimise the anticipated backlash, Facebook has given users a 7 day period from activating Timeline to review it and all items on display, before it publishes as your default profile.

I’ve started reviewing mine, and I must say it’s pretty cool. Although it does make it far easier for friends to see your “not as funny now as it was a few years back” posts and status updates. My 7 day review period ends on Thursday, but I decided to live dangerously and activate it a day early after giving it a review. Coz that’s how I roll. Note that this is because I elected to activate Timeline. I’m not certain when it will become mandatory for all users to adopt. Facebook states that users will soon start to see a notification about activating Timeline at the top of the profile.

For more details, including video, about this change check out Facebook’s official info link: http://www.facebook.com/about/timeline.

Additionally, you might want to glance over this PC World article about making the switch from a security/privacy standpoint, Prep for Facebook’s Timeline Layout: 6 Must-Do Privacy Tweaks, just to be sure.

Note that the new profile does allow you to view your Facebook profile as it appears to either the public, your subscribers or any of your friends. A snippet from the above-mentioned PC World article explains:

After you’ve edited your Timeline, you may want to check what others will be able to see on your revamped profile. To do this click on the cog icon underneath your cover photo and select “View As…” from the drop down menu. This will automatically show you how your profile looks to the public and your subscribers if you have any. You can also enter the name of any of your Facebook friends at the top of the page to see exactly what they’ll see on your Timeline.

So no dong photos circa 2006, alright? We don’t wanna see that.

Achmed the Dead Terrorist on hearing of bin Laden’s demise…


Well played, Jeff. Well played.

Achmed - Osama

 

If Facebook was around in the past…


These historical Facebook statuses have been doing the rounds for a while, so clearly it was time to share ‘em with you lot: If Facebook was around in the past…

FB History 1 - Abe Lincoln

FB History 2 - Ben Franklin

FB History 3 - Ancient Asteroid

FB History 4 - Columbia Space Shuttle

FB History 5 - Galileo

FB History 6 - Charles Darwin

FB History 7 - Julius Ceasar

FB History 9 - Titanic

FB History 10 - Isaac Newton

And there’s one more – God’s Facebook status update, but because we try not to offend too many of you good folks too often (some people are rather serious) it’s not displayed here where you can’t avoid it. To have a read (image opens in a new window/tab), click HERE.

Classic!


Thanks Jeremy & Ryan

Time travelling status updates…


No idea why, but this Failbook post reeeeally appeals to me:

Time Machine FB Status

That’s right – I’m F@CKING HARDCORE, boet!

Schweet.


Source: Failbook

Facebook privacy FAIL. Perhaps I spoke too soon...


F is for FAIL

Hmmm… So I was giving some attitude to the folks who have been up in arms about Facebook and their dodgy security and privacy features and execution recently. Turns out they may be on to something…

Whilst this isn’t that serious, it does mean something ain’t quite right over at Stalkerbook Headquarters: approximately half an hour ago I added two people as friends on Facebook. Now when on my Facebook homepage their news items show up in my news feed. Fair enough I figured – they approved the request and I just haven’t received the notification or email to that effect yet.

Nope. Still says ‘Awaiting friend confirmation’ on their profiles… Riiiiight… that ain’t supposed to happen. So are you telling me that if I go and add anyone I want to I’ll be able to start reading their news feeds up until the time that they click ‘Oh Hell No!’ on my friend request? And no, these aren’t folks whose walls are visible to anyone – they’re hidden to outsiders…

FAIL!

Facebook FAIL – your mom…


Facebook Owned

That’ll teach ya.

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How to suck at Facebook...


The hilarious, and generally slightly odd, fella behind massively popular site The Oatmeal has done it again – this time slagging off those Facebook users who manage to irk the rest of us simple folks trying to spend a few leisurely minutes Facebook-stalking hotties. Take a look:
How to suck at Facebook Title
How to suck at Facebook
How to suck at Facebook
How to suck at Facebook
How to suck at Facebook
How to suck at Facebook
How to suck at Facebook
How to suck at Facebook
How to suck at Facebook

Classic. Of course this makes my comparatively piss-poor attempt at whining about Facebook users seem rather ho-hum…

Oh well.

Got one more post of The Oatmeal brilliance on this site that you may wanna have a squizz at: 5 very good reasons to punch a dolphin in the mouth…

When you’re done debating the merits of going all Lennox Lewis on a dolphin’s jawbone you might wanna take the time to go check out the rest of The Oatmeal site, with posts such as:

  • Why I believe printers were sent from Hell to make us miserable;
  • Why I’d rather be punched in the testicles than call customer service;
  • How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you;
  • Five reasons pigs are more awesome than you;
  • How long could you survive chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor; and…

… many many more – all of it legendary.


Thanks Phillip

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People just keep on FAILing on Facebook...


Here we go again…

Facebook FAIL Avatar 3D

Chop.

Facebook FAIL working lateMartin is legen… wait for it… dary!

Facebook FAIL Slumdog Millionaire

Dumbass

Facebook FAIL Earring

Psychological warfare = awesome! And then there’s Kyle…

Facebook FAIL dentistJon Wins!

Facebook FAIL dislikeTake that! And that! And some of these!


More posts about Facebook? Now with a handy new category label… Facebook! Ta daaaaaaaaaaa…

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