Funny Clips « Stu's take on…

Real men don’t cry – Pepsi MAX ad…

Coz we’re hardcore…

Guide to klapping gym boet...

Gym Chop

Fancy yourself a bit of a gym rat? If so, you NEED to read the SlickTiger guide to klapping gym boet! It is sheer brilliance, comprising such pearlers as the 5 step plan to klapping gym, (majorly) summarised as:

The first step to klapping gym boet is to buy a f@cking TIGHT VEST
Everyone knows that to klap it PROPERLY in the gym you need to be as tanned AS CAN BE!
In a gym situation you are nothing, NOTHING! without your charnas.
When is it time to stop getting MASSIVE? NEVER!
Unless you eat right and inject dangerous steroids daily, you’ll never get RIPPED CHARNA!

Wondering why you should bother getting ripped in the first place? Well, the author, SlickTiger, neatly sums it up as:

But seriously boet! Come off it man! Who needs a normal-sized cheloger when you’ve got two blonde belters, one on each arm ready to BANG YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE SO MASSIVE AND RIPPED!?

’nuff said.

Go check it out. It’s awesome boet.

And then when you’re done getting ripped you get to talk like these two champions in the classic Polka ad:

Chop.

—
Thanks Neil

A brief history of pretty much everything...

Okay okay, I know: I’ve posted a lot of Youtube stuff lately…

But just one more for today, I promise. You need to see this. Some dude went and made a 3 minute clip of old school animation (approx 2100 pages!) covering pretty much everything since the Big Bang up until… now.

Here’s a snippet of info about this gargantuan task from the original post on Youtube:

This is the final piece for my AS art course, a flipbook made entirely out of biro pens. It’s something like 2100 pages long, and about 50 jotter books. I’d say I worked on and off it for roughly 3 weeks.

Take a look -- it really is very well done.

How to report the news...

Fancy yourself a bit of a news reader in the making? Well, here’s your homework for the weekend:

Charlie Brooker hilariously teaches you ‘how to report the news’. Take a look:

—
Thanks Hendré

Top Gear Ford Fiesta Review – funniest review ever…

The 'manne' from Top Gear

Did you all see the recent Top Gear review of the new Ford Fiesta?

If not, boy did you ever miss out on what has got to be one of THE funniest bits of TV ever made!

But never fear. Always here to save the day, I managed to track it down for you lot. All 11 minutes of it.

And you will watch them all! Trust me…

After being moaned at by a viewer for not reviewing cars “properly”, they decided to answer the call. The review answers, in true piss-yourself-funny Top Gear fashion, such pressing questions as:

Is it economical?
Is it easy to park?
Is it green?
What if I go to a shopping centre and get chased by baddies in a corvette?
Can I afford it?
What if I’m asked to take part in a beach assault with the Royal Marines?

Awe’frikkin’some!

The official Top Gear site has also put up a couple of photos of what they consider to be the Top 10 bits of TG telly. Go take a look. And yes, the Ford Fiesta test is one of them…

Play Energy Drink: Beware the ummm... Surprise Buttsex!

Play Energy Drink -- usual tagline: Beware the kick -- has clearly come up with a new, superhero-looking-folks-being-violated-through-the-time-honoured-tradition-of-surprise-buttsex advertising campaign. Check it out:

Photographed at a Shell Ultra City in the karoo. Yup -- that’s Jeremy’s ugly mug in the reflection. Avert your eyes! Unclean! Unclean!

—
One of the older, and always brilliant, Play Energy Drink “Beware the kick” ads:

Bam!

—
And while we’re on the topic, superhero-looking fellas aren’t the only ones getting in on the “Surprise!” action -- even Spongebob’s one you gotta watch:

Steal a purse… get owned…

If you’re enough of a prick to think you’re entitled to steal stuff, you NEED to be prepared for a possible smackdown from just about anyone. Check out this video clip of a pair of bag-snatchers getting owned.

Here’s a bit of background info:

Two thieves on a motor-scooter flew by and snatched a womans purse on a street in Wenzhou, China. Surveillance video shows a man riding a bicycle. As he was passing by the front of a hotel near where the thievery happened, he stopped, calmly got off his bicycle, picked it up, and then threw it at the thieves. The bicycle hit them, they lost control, and crashed to the ground.

Wanna know what a bicycle dinner looks like?

That’s what’s up!

Punks.

Castle Lite ad featuring Vanilla Ice…

So this ad has been on South African tv screens for quite a while now, but I never fail to be amused each and every time it’s on. I therefore figured I should probably share it with the one person out there who hasn’t seen it yet.

Alright stop, collaborate and listen:

Awesomeness. With tears in my eyes…

Did you ever get to see his movie Cool as Ice (1991),?

The cover went a little something like this:

Cool as Ice

…and included the legendary byline:

When a girl has a heart of stone, there’s only one way to melt it. Just add Ice.

It was (obviously) insanely 90s, and featured one of the greatest lines in the history of film:

Drop that zero and get with the hero!

Other pearlers include:

Kathy: So, where are you from?
Johnny: Around.
Kathy: Around?
Johnny: Yup-yup.

and…

Princess: Where were you?
Johnny: Chillin’ wit Kat. You know, that chick who drives the horse.

Again, with tears in my eyes…

And now, for those who are of an arty persuasion, here’s a clip about the making of the Castle Lite ad (first seen in a post on 2oceansvibe):

Mr Ice, or for the purposes of factual accuracy, Mr Robert Matthew Van Winkle -- we salute you!

Alright stop.

Top 5 worst songs of the 90s. Shite music videos too…

Our folks had The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Doors…

We, on the other hand, got this lot:

5. This it it by Dannii

While peering through the crappy video quality, did you manage to spot old Julian McMahon as the bad-haired love interest? You know: Dr Christian Troy from Nip/Tuck. Dannii is rather fine-looking though…

4. No limit by 2 Unlimited

Crap crap crap crap crap doef doef doef doef crap crap crap crap. And let it be known that my brother purchased this CD and inflicted this rubbish on us in the 90s!

3. Doctor Jones by Aqua

From Barbie Girl (Fail) to this. Fail.

2. Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex

I have this sudden urge to go cow tipping, y’all.

1. Blue by Eiffel 65

One of the most annoying songs ever… until that crappy cartoon frog came along anyway. And by the way: this song will now be stuck in your head until at least tomorrow. Sorry.

THIS is our musical legacy? Seriously?

Jack Parow – Cooler as ekke…

Last week on Tuks FM I heard what has got to be one of the funniest Afrikaans tunes ever -- Jack Parow’s Cooler as ekke. Wanted to share the funny with you lot, but was unable to find it anywhere online… until 2oceansvibe came along with a post earlier today about Jack Parow featuring at a Cape Town event along with Die Heuwels Fantasties and The Wedding DJs. Thanks Seth! Check out his post by clicking HERE.

Anyway, back to the tunes. Check it:

Legendary.

Stu's take on…

Poll. Let’s hear it…