Did you all see the recent Top Gear review of the new Ford Fiesta?
If not, boy did you ever miss out on what has got to be one of THE funniest bits of TV ever made!
But never fear. Always here to save the day, I managed to track it down for you lot. All 11 minutes of it.
And you will watch them all! Trust me…
After being moaned at by a viewer for not reviewing cars “properly”, they decided to answer the call. The review answers, in true piss-yourself-funny Top Gear fashion, such pressing questions as:
Is it economical?
Is it easy to park?
Is it green?
What if I go to a shopping centre and get chased by baddies in a corvette?
Can I afford it?
What if I’m asked to take part in a beach assault with the Royal Marines?
Awe’frikkin’some!
The official Top Gear site has also put up a couple of photos of what they consider to be the Top 10 bits of TG telly. Go take a look. And yes, the Ford Fiesta test is one of them…
Okay, I’ll admit it – I’m a HUGE fan of the comedy TV series The Big Bang Theory…
Which of course means that you now get to read a whole bunch of rather amusing quotes from the show. This is thanks to me seeing a link to a whole site devoted to show quotes.
Coz people have that kind of time on their hands. And I in turn have the kind of time on my hands that allows me to copy and paste half of them.
Quit yer bitching – at least I’m not quoting Star Trek…
So let’s ease into it with a few from the whole team, shall we? First up, the exceedingly eccentric Sheldon:
Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Raj: If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed, and I would be their king. Leonard: I hate my name. It has ‘nerd’ in it. ‘Len. Nerd.’ Wolowitz: I lost my virginity to my cousin Jeanie. Raj: I would be kind to my rabbit subjects … at first.
Sheldon: A little misunderstanding? Galileo and the Pope had a little misunderstanding…
Raj: I don’t like bugs, okay? They freak me out. Sheldon: Interesting. You’re afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Howard: Sheldon, you remember the first few weeks we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything, and you were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator? Raj: I thought we were going to be gentle with him. Howard: That’s why I added the ‘-tator’.
None from Leonard specifically – he’s too whiny…
Which of course brings us to the true legend of the show: Howard Wolowitz – the extremely sleazy and hopeless-with-women character, brilliantly played by Simon Helberg.
Wolowitz: I am a horny engineer, I never joke about math or sex.
Wolowitz: Raj, there’s no place for truth on the Internet.
Wolowitz: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today. Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard. Wolowitz: So there is a number.
Wolowitz: Check out the sexy nurse. I believe it’s time for me to turn my head and cough.
Wolowitz: If it’s “creepy” to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpected, then fine, I’m “creepy”.
Wolowitz: Love is not a sprint, it’s a marathon, a relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms – or hits you with the pepper spray.
Wolowitz: They’re called tattoo sleeves… Put them on, have freaky sex with some freaky girl with her business pierced, take them off, and I can still be buried in a Jewish cemetery.
Wolowitz(watching America’s Next Top Model): Oh, look! That’s the future Mrs. Wolowitz. No, wait! That’s the future Mrs. Wolowitz. With her head in the lap of… what a coincidence… it’s the future Mrs. Wolowitz. Leonard: Yeah, and they can all move in with you and your mother. The current Mrs. Wolowitz.
Speaking of the future Mrs Wolowitz, here’s one for the ladies:
A few pics of the ever-fine Penny, played by just-as-fine (you think?) Kaley Cuoco. Because no post about the show would be complete without at least a few photos of Penny. And because JP complained that I talk too much kak and don’t show enough hottie pics. So without further ado…
Click an image to enlarge the photo and start the gallery.
Schweet – True Blood returns to M-Net tonight at 22:05. The series carries on with episode 8 of the second series.
By the way, and while we’re on the subject:
Dear Mnet
Thanks for not bothering to tell anyone that you were going to stop showing the series over the Christmas holidays. One week it’s there, the next it was some crappy chick-flick movie.
Keeping the customers informed FAIL.
Regards
Stu
Sookie and Bill
In case you forgot what happened before someone stopped showing it, here’s a recap of the last two episodes, compliments of IMDB:
Season 2, Episode 6: Hard-Hearted Hannah
Tara and Eggs are driving down the highway when he suddenly realizes he has memories of having been there before. As he explores the nearby woods, he realizes it is an evil place. Sam and Daphne are having a good time and go frolicking in the woods. She has a surprise for him that is not welcome. Eric is out to take possession of Sookie and has Bill’s old girlfriend, who has not seen him for 70 years, come to town. We learn that Bill was not always the gentle, mild-mannered vampire he is today. In Dallas, Sookie is partnered with Hugo – another human who is dating a vampire – for their visit to the Light of Day Institute. Posing as an engaged couple looking for a church to wed, they meet the Newlins and have a tour of the church – but Steve also has a surprise for them. Jason is asked to build a scaffold for a sunrise ceremony where a vampire will be exposed to the dawn sun before the entire congregation. Jason is having serious doubts about whether he wants to be part of this group.
Season 2, Episode 7: Release Me
Still being held in the basement at the Church, it becomes obvious to Sookie that Steve knew they were coming, but is not sure why. That tells her there is a spy among them. She tries to get a message to Bill, but he is being held prisoner by his maker, who refuses to let him go after the woman he loves. In flashbacks, Bill’s conversion to a less violent lifestyle is revealed. When Steve learns Sookie’s true identity, he makes the connection with Jason and assumes he’s a spy. As they begin to wreak their vengeance, Sookie is saved by someone she has yet to meet. Back at the hotel Jessica and Hoyt decide to sleep together. In Bon Temps, Sam manages to escape, courtesy of a drunken Andy Bellefleur. Any plans he may have had for getting even with Daphne are overtaken by Maryann who has her own plans for her acolyte. The rest of the revelers have no memory of what happened the night before.
So tune in tonight to catch the latest chapter in the adventures of the rather fine Sookie, played by Anna Paquin, and some vampire dude.
An article today on MyBroadband.co.za has reported that webmail.co.za, one of South Africa’s premier free email services, has decided to thumb its nose at local hosting and buggered off to Europe. See this snippet from the original article (link) for more info:
South Africa’s largest free email service, Webmail.co.za, has recently moved the hosting of their servers internationally. According to Netcraft the move took place around November 2009, and the new hosting location for Webmail is Nfrance Datacenter in Paris, France.
While the reasons behind this decision are not clear, it may be related to the high bandwidth costs associated with hosting services in South Africa. In South Africa data costs of between 5c and 10c per MB for high end hosting services are commonplace – multiple times higher than international hosting services.
Naturally those users who access their webmail accounts on local-only bandwidth (cheaper) are getting a bit cranky, as they now no longer have that opportunity.
If it is in fact due to the cost of local hosting… then in my opinion I totally get it – local hosting is bloody expensive, and us South Africans are getting sick and tired of constantly playing catch-up to the rest of the world in all things connectivity. If however that is not their reason, my argument about costs is still valid.
A friend of mine has his company website hosted locally, and not only is it far more expensive than international hosting, his storage allocation and monthly traffic is severely limited by comparison.
When I made the move over from the free Google-hosted Blogger to self-hosted WordPress in November last year I went straight to foreign hosting, in this case provided by Hostgator (disclosure note: my affiliate link). For 60% of the price of local hosting I get unlimited storage, unlimited site traffic, and can even host an unlimited number of websites with them. Their technical help folks have also been instantly contactable via live chat 24 hours a day in my experience during the move – no submitting a ticket and then waiting a couple of days. So all in all a win for price, product and service.
As long as there is such a major discrepancy in what you get for your money this will not change – South African sites will continue to host overseas.
So according to some genius, who is now forever immoralised on “It made my day“, District 9 is a documentary. Although, I guess that IS kinda what they were going for…
Good to know. I’ll be sure to keep an eye out tomorrow when I’m in Johannesburg then.
Dumbass.
And while we’re on the subject: I rented this movie last week. It’s awesome. Watch it now!
While trolling the halls of Twitter, I stumbled across a profile that claims to the one, the only, Barney Stinson of How I met your mother fame, the legendary womanising character overly fond of suiting-up and high-fives, and played by Neil Patrick Harris. The Twitter profile is @brocode. (The REAL and verified Neil Patrick Harris, not a character profile, is @ActuallyNPH.
The profile quotes lines from his book The Bro Code, a book which, as previously discussed HERE, is one of the funniest books ever written, and should be considered compulsory reading by all guys the world over.
Some examples of his tweets are (again- quoted from the book itself):
jump on the grenade – the process in which a Bro “takes one for the team” by talking to a hot chick’s unattractive friend. #broglossary
#prestripclubchecklist read in-depth synopsis of movie girlfriend thinks you’re going to see
#prestripclubchecklist plant fake “movie producer” business cards on self where they might “accidentally” fall out in2 cleavage of dancer(s)
rack jack – to steal a wingman’s quarry, often with malicious, premeditated intent. #broglossary
a Bro may toss the Bro Code out the window if Scandinavian twins are involved in any capacity
regardless of veracity, a Bro never admits familiarity with a Broadway show or musical, despite the fact that yes, “Broadway” begins with Bro
Another way of continuing the awesomeness that is Barney Stinson is to read his very own blog - www.barneysblog.com. Go have a look.
So go check out profile @brocode on Twitter (after following moi, @stustake, of course…), and then get your paws on a copy of the book: The Bro Code is available from any halfway-decent bookstore, or online at Amazon.com or Amazon.co.uk. And yes, there WILL be a pop quiz.
I’m sure you lot have seen the awesome work of trompe l’oeil (trick-the-eye) artist John Pugh before, you know: the guy who paints insanely realistic murals.
Well, here are a few more examples of this guy’s work: 3D murals painted on the sides of buildings. Incredible! Click each image for a bigger version in a new window/tab
John Pugh - the man behind it all
Main Street, Los Gatos, California . Even the woman peering into the ruin is part of the mural.
Taylor Hall, California State University, Chico, California. The Doric-style columns are actually nothing but paint.
Honolulu, Hawaii. This mural took two months of studio work to plan and another six months to execute with the help of 11 other artists. Featured are Queen Liliuokalani, the last monarch of the Hawaiian Islands, and Duke Kahanamoku, the ultimate father of surfing.
This mural at the Cafe Trompe L’oeil, San Jose, California, is entitled “Art Imitating Life Imitating Art Imitating Life”. This customer doesn’t leave at closing time.
Twenty-nine Palms, California. Valentine the bull and a patient buzzard are waiting for the artist to awake.
Bay in a Bottle, Santa Cruz, California. The passerby is part of the mural.
Looks like a nice spot to rest your weary feet on a sidewalk in front of the Sarasota County Health Center, Florida.
“Slowin’ Down to Take a Look” in Winslow, Arizona. Yup – you guessed it: the reflection of the vehicle with the girl having a look is part of the mural.
—-
Somehow I feel that my crappy little stick figure drawings ain’t really gonna cut it. Call it a hunch.
I recently stumbled across a massive guide on the web entitled The (WU)ltimate 33-Part Guide to Abandoned Places. After my post a few months ago linking to a series of photos of an abandoned Russian military base, HERE, I realised by the large numbers of visitors to that post in particular that I’m not the only one fascinated by creepy stories and creepier photos of abandoned and desolate old towns, castles, forts, etc. A good old haunting never hurt anyone either. Well, it may have, but that’s besides the point.
And so, I think a fair number of you will probably want to head over to the guide and check it out. To give you an idea of what is covered, here are a few examples of some of the staggering number of categories (of which there are 33 in total. The title kinda gave it away, innit?):
7 Abandoned Wonders of America
7 Abandoned Wonders of the European Union
7 Abandoned Wonders of the Former Soviet Union
7 Abandoned Wonders of Asia
24 Abandoned Cities and Ghost Towns
24 Abandoned Buildings and Places
Abandoned Houses, Homes, Ghost Towns and Neighborhoods
Abandoned Institutions, Asylums, Hospitals, Hotels and Churches
Historical and Mysterious Shipwrecks of the World
Deserted and Converted Abandoned Missile Silos
Abandoned Theme Parks, Theaters, Schools and Pools
So the eagerly awaited latest blockbuster (naturally) novel from Dan Brown is out from today.
I think it’s safe to expect utter chaos at many bookstores as everyone and their brother tries to get hold of it.
Product byline as follows (although not exactly choc-a-bloc with plot details, now is it?):
Six years in the writing, “The Lost Symbol” is Dan Brown’s extraordinary sequel to his internationally bestselling Robert Langdon thrillers, “Angels & Demons” and “The Da Vinci Code”. Nothing is ever what it first appears in a Dan Brown novel. Set over a breathtaking 12 hour time span, the book’s narrative takes the reader on an exhilarating journey through a masterful and unexpected landscape as Professor of Symbology, Robert Langdon, is once again called into action. Expertly researched and written with breakneck pace, “The Lost Symbol” once again demonstrates why Dan Brown is the world’s bestselling thriller writer.
Some folks are even expecting the same sort of tourism effects as caused by the Da Vince Code at Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland, expect this time the action takes place in Washington D.C. as shown in the following article (originally from the Canadian Press):
Washington tourism launches ‘Lost Symbol’ website for Dan Brown book
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS (CP)
WASHINGTON — Washington is anticipating a flurry of visits from fans of Dan Brown’s new thriller, “The Lost Symbol.”
Fans of “The Da Vinci Code” novelist flocked to the Louvre in Paris and other sites in Europe that were featured in that book. One church in Scotland, the Rosslyn Chapel, saw a threefold increase in visitors after the book became a bestseller and movie.
Destination DC has launched a web page at http://www.Washington.org/lostsymbol to help readers explore some of the places and themes that are expected to receive attention from “The Lost Symbol.”
The Washington tourism agency launched the web page prior to the book’s release Tuesday, using places that were hinted at in advance publicity for the novel. The Capitol building is featured on the book’s cover, and the nearby U.S. Botanic Garden was referenced in a Today Show clue about the novel.
The novel’s plot was not revealed before publication, but the story is believed to be about Freemasons, the centuries-old fraternal organization. Other sites featured on the Washington “Lost Symbol” web page include an early 20th century Masonic stone temple at the corner of 16th and S streets, and the George Washington Masonic National Memorial in Alexandria, Va.
When I get my paws on it I’ll let you know what it’s like.
Or if you want to beat me to it: Then click HERE to get your copy from Kalahari.net
Or HERE to buy it from Amazon.co.uk for only £4.99. Bargain!
Clearly some folks are way ahead of us. Here’s a review from someone over at Cracked.com who got his hands on a copy and immediately proceeded to skim through. Click HERE to read it.
Okay, do you at least find that everyone and everything manages to piss you off at least some of the time? There we go…
Some clever (cranky) sod has gone and documented all those items that you hate, we hate, everyone hates on his site (very slyly) called The Ultimate Hatelist.
If it had the chance to piss you off, chances are it’s on the list. Brilliance! Go have a look. I have spoken.
Not that I hate anything… coz I’m like, chilled, Bru.
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