Check this summary of a News24 article from yesterday:
MultiChoice is considering broadcasting pornography and the possibility of creating new sex channels on DStv’s satellite pay-TV service.
“MultiChoice has been inundated with requests for adult content on DStv over the past few months,” Jackie Rakitla, general manager of corporate affairs at MultiChoice, told Die Burger on Tuesday.
“At this stage we’re merely doing research to determine the extent of interest in adult content, and we’re looking at the feasibility of implementing such a service.”
MultiChoice is using e-mails for market research purposes to test the interest in various broadcasting options, such as the broadcasting of “mixed pornography” (hardcore porn between 21:00 and 05:00 and soft porn between 05:00 and 21:00), hardcore porn 24 hours per day, or soft porn 24 hours per day on DStv.
Now whether this is a good or bad idea is not what’s being discussed here (that’s not the point of this post) – the point is that everybody is, as usual, in a flat panic.
Naturally the comments sections of the articles about this topic were awash with LOADS of bleats along the lines of:
“I can like to cancel my subscription if they do this!” – literally hundreds in this vein
“But my kiddies will see it!”
“Marriages will break up because Jannie will be watching Sannie/Frikkie/Humphrey and Magdalene pretending to ‘fix the pipes’”
“That is not ayoba!”
and of course the one oke who cracked: “Finally. With this and rugby the subscription will be worth it”.
Now hang on for just a second before getting on your high horse folks (except for rugby dude of course): do you REALLY think they’ll have the channel wedged between M-Net movies 1 and Cartoon Network? OBVIOUSLY it would be locked behind PIN codes and other methods to control viewing. They’re not that dof!
Everyone likes a good panic, as is clearly evident by all the Facebook protest groups against pretty much everything.
And while we’re on the topic of protest groups, how long do you think it’ll be before the “Boycott DStv if they show porn” Facebook groups start up? My money’s on right now.
This shocking news may come as a bit of a surprise to you. I was a bit of a surprise to me too.
Remember that post last week about the “Top Gear Ford Fiesta Review“? You know, the funniest review ever ever ever times infinity bru?
Well, some American site by a Cincinnati Ford Dealer (whose site is called the Beechmont Ford Blog and which is all about Fords in general, and in this case the Ford Fiesta in particular), linked to that post.
Nothing too unusual there – blogs link to other related articles all the time. I do it all the time.
In this instance though they did manage to make one teensy-weensy error. Take a look:
You do realise what this means right?
Jeremy, James and Richard se moer! I have officially been promoted and am now the new official host/cast/everything of Top Gear.
Ladies and gentlemen: please allow me to present…
THE EVOLUTION OF TELEVISION!
From this:
to this:
Awesome!
I’d watch that.
Oh, before I forget: You do recall the very first sentence of this post right? The one about the Stig’s true identity? Yes?
Did you all see the recent Top Gear review of the new Ford Fiesta?
If not, boy did you ever miss out on what has got to be one of THE funniest bits of TV ever made!
But never fear. Always here to save the day, I managed to track it down for you lot. All 11 minutes of it.
And you will watch them all! Trust me…
After being moaned at by a viewer for not reviewing cars “properly”, they decided to answer the call. The review answers, in true piss-yourself-funny Top Gear fashion, such pressing questions as:
Is it economical?
Is it easy to park?
Is it green?
What if I go to a shopping centre and get chased by baddies in a corvette?
Can I afford it?
What if I’m asked to take part in a beach assault with the Royal Marines?
Awe’frikkin’some!
The official Top Gear site has also put up a couple of photos of what they consider to be the Top 10 bits of TG telly. Go take a look. And yes, the Ford Fiesta test is one of them…
Okay, I’ll admit it – I’m a HUGE fan of the comedy TV series The Big Bang Theory…
Which of course means that you now get to read a whole bunch of rather amusing quotes from the show. This is thanks to me seeing a link to a whole site devoted to show quotes.
Coz people have that kind of time on their hands. And I in turn have the kind of time on my hands that allows me to copy and paste half of them.
Quit yer bitching – at least I’m not quoting Star Trek…
So let’s ease into it with a few from the whole team, shall we? First up, the exceedingly eccentric Sheldon:
Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Raj: If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed, and I would be their king. Leonard: I hate my name. It has ‘nerd’ in it. ‘Len. Nerd.’ Wolowitz: I lost my virginity to my cousin Jeanie. Raj: I would be kind to my rabbit subjects … at first.
Sheldon: A little misunderstanding? Galileo and the Pope had a little misunderstanding…
Raj: I don’t like bugs, okay? They freak me out. Sheldon: Interesting. You’re afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Howard: Sheldon, you remember the first few weeks we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything, and you were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator? Raj: I thought we were going to be gentle with him. Howard: That’s why I added the ‘-tator’.
None from Leonard specifically – he’s too whiny…
Which of course brings us to the true legend of the show: Howard Wolowitz – the extremely sleazy and hopeless-with-women character, brilliantly played by Simon Helberg.
Wolowitz: I am a horny engineer, I never joke about math or sex.
Wolowitz: Raj, there’s no place for truth on the Internet.
Wolowitz: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today. Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard. Wolowitz: So there is a number.
Wolowitz: Check out the sexy nurse. I believe it’s time for me to turn my head and cough.
Wolowitz: If it’s “creepy” to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpected, then fine, I’m “creepy”.
Wolowitz: Love is not a sprint, it’s a marathon, a relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms – or hits you with the pepper spray.
Wolowitz: They’re called tattoo sleeves… Put them on, have freaky sex with some freaky girl with her business pierced, take them off, and I can still be buried in a Jewish cemetery.
Wolowitz(watching America’s Next Top Model): Oh, look! That’s the future Mrs. Wolowitz. No, wait! That’s the future Mrs. Wolowitz. With her head in the lap of… what a coincidence… it’s the future Mrs. Wolowitz. Leonard: Yeah, and they can all move in with you and your mother. The current Mrs. Wolowitz.
Speaking of the future Mrs Wolowitz, here’s one for the ladies:
A few pics of the ever-fine Penny, played by just-as-fine (you think?) Kaley Cuoco. Because no post about the show would be complete without at least a few photos of Penny. And because JP complained that I talk too much kak and don’t show enough hottie pics. So without further ado…
Click an image to enlarge the photo and start the gallery.
A new reality series, Way of the Warrior, is starting 15th Feb 2010 on M-Net Action -- DSTV channel 106.
Check out the promo:
The official blurb goes a little something like this:
Way of the Warrior is a television first! Hosted by Colin Moss, the show promises to be a must for all reality fans.
Way of the Warrior will gather a group of 25 to 35-year-old men and give them the opportunity to train at Dragon Power, South Africa’s premier Muaythai Gym – based in Cape Town.
They will be trained by 2 x World Muaythai Champion and their mentor-to-be -- Quentin “Dragon” Chong and through the transformative power of Martial Arts, become lean, formidable fighting machines.
But there is a catch, the only way the men can stay in the gym and take home the amazing prizes is to fight for it. Each contestant will have to use their new-found martial arts skills to fight their competitors in the ring, for the right to remain in the gym. Using the Muaythai they have been taught each contestant has to survive weeks of elimination as they fight for the honour of being named the ultimate warrior.
If you are a guy who is unhappy with his weight and you want to transform your life…you can follow the “Way of the Warrior”.
Sounds pretty entertaining, yes? Definitely worth a look-see.
Schweet – True Blood returns to M-Net tonight at 22:05. The series carries on with episode 8 of the second series.
By the way, and while we’re on the subject:
Dear Mnet
Thanks for not bothering to tell anyone that you were going to stop showing the series over the Christmas holidays. One week it’s there, the next it was some crappy chick-flick movie.
Keeping the customers informed FAIL.
Regards
Stu
Sookie and Bill
In case you forgot what happened before someone stopped showing it, here’s a recap of the last two episodes, compliments of IMDB:
Season 2, Episode 6: Hard-Hearted Hannah
Tara and Eggs are driving down the highway when he suddenly realizes he has memories of having been there before. As he explores the nearby woods, he realizes it is an evil place. Sam and Daphne are having a good time and go frolicking in the woods. She has a surprise for him that is not welcome. Eric is out to take possession of Sookie and has Bill’s old girlfriend, who has not seen him for 70 years, come to town. We learn that Bill was not always the gentle, mild-mannered vampire he is today. In Dallas, Sookie is partnered with Hugo – another human who is dating a vampire – for their visit to the Light of Day Institute. Posing as an engaged couple looking for a church to wed, they meet the Newlins and have a tour of the church – but Steve also has a surprise for them. Jason is asked to build a scaffold for a sunrise ceremony where a vampire will be exposed to the dawn sun before the entire congregation. Jason is having serious doubts about whether he wants to be part of this group.
Season 2, Episode 7: Release Me
Still being held in the basement at the Church, it becomes obvious to Sookie that Steve knew they were coming, but is not sure why. That tells her there is a spy among them. She tries to get a message to Bill, but he is being held prisoner by his maker, who refuses to let him go after the woman he loves. In flashbacks, Bill’s conversion to a less violent lifestyle is revealed. When Steve learns Sookie’s true identity, he makes the connection with Jason and assumes he’s a spy. As they begin to wreak their vengeance, Sookie is saved by someone she has yet to meet. Back at the hotel Jessica and Hoyt decide to sleep together. In Bon Temps, Sam manages to escape, courtesy of a drunken Andy Bellefleur. Any plans he may have had for getting even with Daphne are overtaken by Maryann who has her own plans for her acolyte. The rest of the revelers have no memory of what happened the night before.
So tune in tonight to catch the latest chapter in the adventures of the rather fine Sookie, played by Anna Paquin, and some vampire dude.
South Africa is now (finally) up to 3 HD channels -- Mnet HD, Supersport HD, and now Discovery HD Showcase.
Here’s a snippet from the original MyBroadband article that brought this to my attention (article here):
MultiChoice today announced that it will launch its latest channel, Discovery HD Showcase, on Monday. “The Discovery HD Showcase channel will hit the screens on DStv on 21 December on channel 172,” the company said in a press statement.
The channel is the only global high definition television brand offering factual entertainment, selected from various Discovery channels as well as exclusive content that can only be seen on Discovery HD Showcase. The channel covers a variety of programmes including science, technology, people, places and natural history.
Like other HD channels, this channel will be available to Premium bouquet subscribers that have PVR decoders that are HD capable. MultiChoice launched a PVR decoder that is HD capable last year.
Two weeks ago, MultiChoice announced the launch of SuperSport HD on its DStv platform. The addition of Discovery HD Showcase brings the number of HD channels on DStv to three.
Additionally, the DSTV site had this to say:
Offering breathtaking sound and magnetic imagery, the channel covers a variety of programmes including science, technology, people, places and natural history. Like other HD channels, this channel will be available to Premium bouquet subscribers that have PVR decoders that are HD capable.
Two weeks ago, MultiChoice announced the launch of SuperSport HD on its DStv platform. The addition of Discovery HD Showcase brings the number of HD channels on DStv to three.
“This latest addition demonstrates our commitment to growing our HD offering on DStv. Our Premium subscribers will now enjoy a wider scope of HD content, covering Sport, Documentary and general entertainment from the three HD channels” says Nico Meyer, CEO of MultiChoice South Africa.
Check out the promo for the channel:
Looks awesome! Now I really need to try harder to convince the missus to let me get a HD TV! There are some killer specials on them at the moment…
While trolling the halls of Twitter, I stumbled across a profile that claims to the one, the only, Barney Stinson of How I met your mother fame, the legendary womanising character overly fond of suiting-up and high-fives, and played by Neil Patrick Harris. The Twitter profile is @brocode. (The REAL and verified Neil Patrick Harris, not a character profile, is @ActuallyNPH.
The profile quotes lines from his book The Bro Code, a book which, as previously discussed HERE, is one of the funniest books ever written, and should be considered compulsory reading by all guys the world over.
Some examples of his tweets are (again- quoted from the book itself):
jump on the grenade – the process in which a Bro “takes one for the team” by talking to a hot chick’s unattractive friend. #broglossary
#prestripclubchecklist read in-depth synopsis of movie girlfriend thinks you’re going to see
#prestripclubchecklist plant fake “movie producer” business cards on self where they might “accidentally” fall out in2 cleavage of dancer(s)
rack jack – to steal a wingman’s quarry, often with malicious, premeditated intent. #broglossary
a Bro may toss the Bro Code out the window if Scandinavian twins are involved in any capacity
regardless of veracity, a Bro never admits familiarity with a Broadway show or musical, despite the fact that yes, “Broadway” begins with Bro
Another way of continuing the awesomeness that is Barney Stinson is to read his very own blog - www.barneysblog.com. Go have a look.
So go check out profile @brocode on Twitter (after following moi, @stustake, of course…), and then get your paws on a copy of the book: The Bro Code is available from any halfway-decent bookstore, or online at Amazon.com or Amazon.co.uk. And yes, there WILL be a pop quiz.
Yes? Happiness? ——— And now that the formalities are out of the way, let’s get back to business. The business of belters. Good business. Highlight of the week business.
In keeping with my current harping on about the TV series Entourage, the honour this week goes to one of the character Eric Murphy’s girlfriends – Sloan, played by the “wow”-inducing Emmanuelle Chriqui. Allow me to present:
Ummm… kinda at a loss for words here, other than: Did I mention the whole “wow”-inducing bit?
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